My last blog post was just shy of three weeks ago. That’s because life got much harder two and a half weeks ago. Have I mentioned that my mom was here for the first two weeks after A was born? Well she was a HUGE help, but then, she and my dad went on a trip to Hawaii. The same first week they were gone my hubby D also got sent to a job in Banff for three nights. That meant I not only lost my daily support but my nightly support as well. It wasn’t that bad while hubby was gone. A few mini meltdowns emotionally but I think that’s practically a given three weeks after having a baby.
What it meant though was NO time to premake any meals, or grocery shop. So in one week I finished all the food I had so smartly made before delivery, and then slowly but surely started running out of ingredients to continue eating keto. About two weeks ago I realized the problem of not having pre made food/snacks in the fridge. Or even certain ingredients.
If we just came home from anywhere and C needed lunch and A was wailing from being stuck in her car seat I did not have the ability to make myself something. I reverted to just grabbing some of C’s packaged snacks. Veggie chips, graham bunnies, yogurt, that kind of thing.
C and I were having some major relationship struggles as well. Before he had been frustrated by my spending so much time feeding A. Now, he fed off my tiredness and frustration and we just made each other so much worse. Finally after one really bad night I realized I needed to take time during one of A’s feeds to re evaluate, and come up with some new strategies, figure out which priorities needed to change and let go of many of my pereconcieved expectations for myself as wife/mother/woman.
Here is what I came up with:
1) eating keto is not my number one priority. Having happy and healthy relationships with my family are.
This means not being on my phone while I feed A. (Except when I’m writing a blog since I haven’t managed to write one any other time of my day; although in another week I will be able to start taking baths again which is where all my other posts were written lol). Because I recognize that sitting and watching C’s Thomas or Grinch or other children’s movie for the ten billionth time counts as quality time in C’s books and helps tons with his behaviour the next few hours.
It also means bringing A into C’s room at night for his bedtime ritual. If I have to feed her or rock her while I read him stories so be it. If he gets to stay up late because she takes until nine (or one night ten) to finish eating then he gets the bonus time. Because then I can go put her to bed. But that doesn’t mean a quick kiss and hug for C anymore. He desperately needs more of my attention. And so far I am finding that even though I really want to go to sleep too, or shower, he needs me more. I have started laying in bed with him until he’s much more sleepy. And do you know what AMAZING thing has developed ?! He has started processing his day verbally with me! So cool! It’s usually short. For example, he will bring up if somebody hit him that day (another child I mean lol) or if he pushed somebody to get a toy. He’s two!!! Like just two, not almost three. Or he will mention someone’s name and I have to piece together if he’s remembering something or asking to see them the next day. But we’re talking! Having a conversation and I think that’s pretty sweet. Worth twenty minutes of lost sleep.
I’m still not sure how to fit time for D in. He comes home around 5:30-6, we eat dinner, then he plays with C and his trains and holds A for a bit. Then relaxes on the couch for a bit, then it’s C’s bedtime and he’s off to the gym. By the time he gets back I’m way past sleeping. Or already awake doing the next feed. I absolutely want to encourage him in going to the gym at night. He’s already seen great progress in the last couple weeks. And I want him spending quality time with our kids. I think this is just a stage we have to go through as parents of a newborn. It’ll get easier.
2) I need to start thinking in snack size meals for food prep rather than just big meals.
I am not always, actually I am almost never, able to take the time to prep breakfast or lunch anymore. Depending on my mornings and what time I’m getting home from things. I thought breakfast and lunch would be the easy meals. But I don’t always have time to prep BPC or smoothies. So I need to start finding recipes for things I can individually pack and have ready to grab and go. That will take some research and trying out some new recipes. Hopefully it won’t be too challenging. It’s not like I’ve been finding extra time for anything these days.
3) I need to be easier on myself when I’m just not able to stick to keto.
It’s more important that I am eating and drinking enough to keep up a healthy milk supply. This is turning out to be so much harder than I expected. I thought I had been doing keto long enough before baby to have a good handle on continuing now. And if I come down too hard on myself I will entirely quit like I have before on other diets or fitness challenges I’ve undertaken. I need to keep my mind positive. I’m doing this at least for a year with the intention of following this style of prep and eating habits forever. I am my toughest critic and I need to let that go.
4) I am not going to be able to be as social as I used to be, and I am not always going to be able to be on time.
Already I have had to cancel on friends, miss church, and accept that C just won’t be able to play at the play place as long as normal because we are just not going to make it at opening time. These are both hard things for me. I am an extrovert. Plus I need my fresh air! I have to get out of the house. But recovering from a c section has made that pretty tough. For the first three weeks I needed others to drive me around. Not being able to carry A in her car seat and carry the diaper bag at the same time meant someone else had to accompany me to handle the diaper bag and C. Being on time is super important to me. I have a hard time with others being late, honestly I find being late disrespectful. Sure, there will be the odd time your kid will throw up at the door as you’re leaving. But those temper tantrums about getting boots and jackets on happens pretty much every time you have to leave the house. So plan accordingly and give yourself extra time. At least that’s how I view it. Now, I don’t have to give up being on time forever. Again I just need to get comfortable and wait till we all find our rhythm. That just means again I need to give myself some leeway.
5) I’m not going to be able to look the way I want to when leaving the house.
Now luckily, I have good skin and nice hair. So leaving the house without makeup or my hair done is not nearly as traumatizing for me as it would be for some others. But I LIKE wearing makeup. I ENJOY doing fun things with my hair. This is easier for me to accept, again realizing that it won’t last forever. I am however having a hard time figuring out when to shower. I just keep telling myself the extra oil is good for my hair lol.
6) My house is going to be a lot dirtier than even I am comfortable with.
I am definitely not one of those women who has a perfect house when you come over. And I don’t even care. But I do feel better when there aren’t dishes everywhere and the bathrooms are presentable. Cleaning right now is pretty low on my priorities list. But my plan of attack is to come up with a manageable cleaning schedule. It’ll all work out.
I think those are the main issues I’ve had to really sit down and re examine. Now, for a few changes that are a direct result of the keto eating.
My metabolism is definitely working. Maybe for the first time ever. I sweat so much! Mostly at night but I am always feeling so hot throughout the day. I know some of it was a result of being pregnant. But I think most of that has balanced out by now. I literally wake up multiple times a night for feeds dripping in sweat. My hair looks like I just got out of the shower and my chest is all sweaty too. Also, my scent has changed! So weird that I’m always aware of my body odour now. It smells really bad to me. It took me a while to figure out that that smell I kept sniffing was me ! My belly skin is starting to tighten up, but it still looks/feels weird to me. My incision site has been doing strange tingly/numb feelings. Hopefully it just means things are healing!
I get to workout in a week Monday! Oh happy day!!!
Also I made these great pizza bread sticks that are finally fluffy! I’ve missed that texture for sure.
Also, baby girl is a month old! Where did the time go ?!
We all, and I do mean all, got sick a week ago. That made eating healthier hard too. I totally think the connection between going off keto for a week and running out of pro biotics is directly related. But I’ve been back on track this last week, both eating and probiotics, so hopefully we will start healing soon!
Crazy how long this post is. But hopefully I will manage to stick to one a week from now on!
I am just about done week 12 of 52 🙂