Well, I haven’t written a post in two weeks now. I think, hopefully it’s not three weeks and I’m doing even worse than I think haha This is simply due to our whole family coming down with a cold. First I got sick, then my hubby D, then sick kiddos. Thankfully it was just a cold, I got it the worst, it barely touched our son, and only a little worse our daughter. I did pretty well sticking to plan too, except that my health food store ran out of my alternative sweetener and I caved on day three of being sick and ate like three of my sons snack bags of Famous Amos cookies lol I think if I had been able to make my own cookies I wouldn’t have gone for the junk version. Oh well.
But what I really want to write about this post, is a discussion I had with a very dear friend about the relationship between our scales and our daughters.
Both of us are on a weight loss journey. Both of us have struggled with our weight in the past. And both of us have a love hate relationship with our scales. They have the power to both motivate and crush us.
Now, I am incredibly happy to state that I am feeling amazing about myself lately; body image wise. Although my stomach looks different than it did when I got married (I have given birth to three children after all) I am only ten pounds heavier than that wonderful day, and feel like I look pretty much the same again. I’m in the groove with this grain free sugar free lifestyle. I’ve got my prep, cooking, cleanup and even house cleaning in order. I’m liking what I’m cooking and baking and things are starting to feel like routine. This, is a pretty great place to be mentally.
But… I still found myself stepping on my scale every morning. Now, I know that many people believe you should only weigh yourself once a week at the most! I however, have always found my scale to be appropriately motivating. I have never felt that my scale owned or controlled me, but rather always gave an accurate portrayal of where I was in regards to my progress. I’m big on goal setting and my goal has always been a weight number. To be exact, my dream body weight since I graduated high school was to be 150lbs. For my height, and desire to be muscular rather than skinny, that is a very reachable goal. So yes, I step on my scale, I would say on average, at least three times a week. And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by that fact.
However, my friend and I found ourselves on the exact same thought process on the same morning. What will our stepping on the scale, and our subsequent reactions, look like in our daughters eyes? And I mean their young, pure, untainted-by-societal-expectations eyes.
My MAIN goal in this year long challenge was and still is to change out my poor habits for healthier ones in the hopes of modelling a healthy relationship to food for my kids. I want them to see me excited about meal planning. Wanting to choose an apple with cinnamon over a bowl of ice cream (most of the time). I want them to get excited to cook with me, and to love getting the first taste test of a new creation. I don’t want my kids to use food as a reward, or an emotional bandaid. I want them to pull out board games when their bored, not the tv controller and a bag of chips.
So if that’s all true… if those are my real desires for myself and my family… maybe it’s time to break up with my scale?
Watching my weight gain closely in my third pregnancy was smart. I did not want to gain another 80+ pounds this time. But I did amazing while pregnant with A. I literally destroyed my weight gain goals and did even better than I thought possible. I’ve already lost all the weight gained with her plus another ten pounds and she’s not even three months old yet. I think it’s safe to throw out my scale now.
I think that from now on, progress pics, measurements, the feeling of my clothes getting looser, the feeling of energy and amount of time spent physically playing with my kids should be enough. Because this year long challenge, was taken up in the hope of creating life long change. That means, that if I stick to making healthier choices, if I keep setting goals like running half marathons, or getting outside with my kids four times a week, the weight WILL come off. The dial on my scale will start falling backwards, and one day I will hit, at least into the ballpark, that lifelong goal weight. And I can achieve that without checking in on my scale.
My daughter will see my health choices affecting my quality of life. Not the numbers on my scale affecting my mood for the day.
And right as I came to that conclusion, my dear friend sent me a link to this blog post her husband found; and I just knew God was reaffirming that this awareness, was in the direction He’s been leading me 🙂
Also, I came across this video on FB and think it’s totally worth it for all women to watch. I was totally that girl who would not run outside where people could see me! But then I realized that every person who saw me out running while they were driving in their vehicles were being lazier than I was in that moment. And that honestly, they were probably like “hey, good for her, she’s out improving herself in public, that takes guts!” Meanwhile I was jiggle-jiggle-jiggling lol