I feel like I am in such a weird place this last week! It’s this bizarre conflict between feeling amazing and feeling guilty.
I have been feeling so great lately. This last week has been full of incredible days bonding with my son, fun nights out and mornings jam packed with friends. I feel fantastic! Not just mentally, but physically too. I haven’t liked looking at myself in the mirror for a long time. Like years long time. These past four months I have looked in the mirror with pride in how well I have done since starting this challenge. But this last week I have finally LIKED who I see in the mirror! I have felt like I am myself again. And I mean myself as in how I felt the weeks leading up to my wedding.
We got pregnant on our honey moon. And BAM my thyroid turns on me and my hormones have been on a roller coaster ever since. I was pregnant for five months. Suffered the loss of our son for two more months before getting pregnant again. Followed by ten more months being pregnant. The next 15 months my body dealt with my thyroid stabilizing but all the added and changing hormones that come after having a baby and breast feeding for a year. Then ten more months being pregnant. And the last three spent once again dealing with the hormone changes of having a baby and starting to breast feed again. WHEW that’s a lot in three and a half years!!
So now my energy is high, I’m feeling so satisfied in life, I’m setting and working on great life goals, and enjoying being a wife and mother to two beautiful children. Where does the guilt part of this enter? This week I have cheated on my diet numerous times, and worked out only once! But the “weakness” is coming from this bizarre place of being happy with myself and therefore slipping back into old and unhealthy habits. No, I don’t deserve the pizza I ate this weekend
I’m not doing so well I can take a break. In fact, I still have 50 pounds to loose to get to my ultimate goal. Although, I have stopped weighing myself which is a weird new mental space to be in too. I really want to step onto that scale. How much damage has all this cheating and lack of exercise done? Yet that’s why I wanted to stop weighing in: I still feel great in my skin! But I DO still have a half marathon to run in October no matter how great I feel.
So do I look at this past week as just a blip on the radar? A week long relaxed enjoyment in the happiness I’m feeling? I guess so. But I think it’s also time to start working on my fitness goals.
Because let’s be honest, you can be a great goal setter and never take a step to make those goals a reality!
This next week, I plan to stick to keto as often as possible. But more importantly, I plan to sit down (tonight) and come up with a game plan to start working on my marathon training. It’s nice enough some days to run outside, but I need an action plan. What to do with the kids: run with, with one, or without? And where do they go when I do run, at a friends during the day, with hubby at night? How much cycling am I gonna do when I can’t get outside or to a treadmill? How often am I going to do weight lifting?
So, expect to see my action plan posted by Tuesday at the latest!!!!